وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً
« And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. » (meaning of the verse, Ar-Rum 30:21)
Marriage is a contract, but first and foremost a promise of tranquility, affection and mercy. The Quran calls it a « solemn covenant »:
وَأَخَذْنَ مِنكُم مِّيثَاقًا غَلِيظًا
« And they have taken from you a solemn covenant. » (meaning of the verse, An-Nisa 4:21)
Choosing well
« A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religion. Choose the one who is religious, and you will be blessed » (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 5090; Sahih Muslim, no. 1466). The same criterion applies to the man: his piety and good character before his wealth.
The conditions, according to the Maliki school
The Maliki school, the majority school in Côte d'Ivoire, notably requires:
- The consent of both spouses. "A previously married woman must not be married until she is consulted, and a virgin must not be married until she gives her permission" (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 5136). A forced marriage is not a marriage that Islam wants.
- The woman's guardian (wali), who represents her in the contract: "There is no marriage without a guardian" (Sunan Abi Dawud, no. 2085; Jami' at-Tirmidhi, no. 1101).
- The dowry (mahr or sadaq), which belongs to the wife: "Give women their dowry graciously" (An-Nisa 4:4). The Prophet ﷺ encouraged a dowry that would not be a burden.
- The wording of the contract, offer and acceptance.
- The public nature of the marriage, with witnesses, so that the union is known.
The details vary from one school of thought to another: for your marriage, the imam who officiates will guide you.
The dowry: a right of the wife, not a burden
The dowry belongs to the wife alone neither her father nor her family has the right to keep it. It can be in money, jewelry, or goods, paid immediately or partly later, if it is written in the contract. The Prophet ﷺ said: « The best marriage is the easiest » (Sunan Abi Dawud, no. 2117). Excessive demands delay young people's marriages and push them toward what is forbidden.
The wedding meal
« Host a wedding meal, even if it is only with a sheep » (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 5167). The walima announces the marriage and brings together family and neighbors; it must not ruin the newlyweds.
Rights on both sides
وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ
« They have rights equal to their obligations, in accordance with what is fair. » (meaning of the verse, Al-Baqara 2:228)
| The husband must | The wife must |
|---|---|
| the mahr, agreed upon in the contract | loyalty and respect for the household |
| provide food, housing, and clothing, according to his means | take care of the household's property |
| good company, gentleness, and fairness between his wives if he has more than one | good company and consultation |
And for both: keeping the couple's secrets, good conduct toward the in-laws, and patience.
In Côte d'Ivoire: the civil marriage first
The law no. 2019-570 of 26 June 2019 defines marriage as the union of a man and a woman celebrated before the civil registry officer. A religious marriage alone has no legal effect: it does not protect the wife or the children in case of separation or death (inheritance, maintenance, rights to the home).
The 2019 law allows you to choose between three regimes: community property under the reduced acquisitions system, separation of property, or a marriage contract drawn up by a notary. It also leaves the wife free to choose whether or not to take her husband's name.
In practice : performing both the religious marriage and the civil marriage means respecting the Sharia and protecting your family before the law.
Living Together Well
« The best of you is the best to his family » (Jami' at-Tirmidhi, no. 3895). The dowry and the contract are only the beginning: everyday kindness does the rest.